By Mabel Wellman.
On the 20th November, Southampton had its yearly Trans Day of Remembrance service.
This is always a very difficult day, as one of the organisers for what happens in Southampton I always find myself thinking about the day far more than I would like to.
This year, a recorded 344 names were read out of transgender and non-binary people who had lost their lives to violence or suicide. This number is far too high for any morally just world, and the true number of trans people lost is most likely far higher than those crimes and deaths that have been recorded, researched and put together for TDOR services across the world.
I recently explained to my grandmother what Trans Day Of Remembrance is and was quite shocked by how many had been lost this year.
I had recently also heard that a trans woman who was murdered may since have been deadnamed by their family. This made me quite upset as this was a name that we had only read out for TDOR last year. It has strengthened my belief in just how important Trans Day Of Remembrance is for the trans community however, for too many of us, this could very much be the last time we are ever honoured as our true self, and instead many of us could be buried and referred and ultimately forgotten about as a completely different person we had lived and died as.
So whilst it is hard, our community does come together very powerfully in the hard times such as on TDoR. In our Southampton service, I had the honour to organise, many trans people helped not just read names, but also sing songs and read poetry. The night continued at the Duke Of Wellington (where we held the service inside for the first time), where we drank and shared food with one another and there was a very strong sense of warmth and community which I am very pleased to have shared with my fellow trans siblings.
This day will always be a difficult day for us, but the trans community in Southampton is a very strong family, and it’s a family I’m very lucky to have on dark, cold days like this.
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